It’s been a hot minute, and a LOT has happened! Unfortunately, the biggest reason for the delays is that I had to change host servers. Bluehost was causing issues, so we had to switch to InMotion Hosting. Which, when you’re running multiple domains, takes quite some time. Especially when the head of Carlisle Legacy Books is a blind lady, and I struggle with finding things in menus. The more menus/menu layers, the harder the struggle. (You’d think that I wouldn’t struggle so much with technology in my thirties, but here we are.)
So, since Violent Minds: Killers on Tape came out, we’ve had some fun adventures. Next week, a new book in the series comes out! Preorders are now available on Amazon for “Testing Ted Bundy”! You may also be able to preorder the book on Ingram Spark! We (Carlisle Legacy Books) have been organizing files from Dr. Carlisle’s Bundy research, and have compiled tests and interviews, some of which have never been released to the public! I am really excited about some of these. (And yes, I have read it! I am one of the editors!) This will be the first posthumous work in Dr. Carlisle’s Violent Mind series. We had to hold off on the release until after our contract for the documentary was up, but the 1976 companion book is finally here! Release date is February 15th! The only downside is that we can’t release ALL of the tests, because some of them are still protected info. (Like the Make A Picture pictures, which are copyrighted.)
There have been other results of the Violent Minds documentary, such as lovely threatening letters from the subject of the final episode. (He’s trying to blackmail the publisher, claiming that his rights were violated by us sharing the tapes with police. It took a very short Google search to see that he has no standing, legally speaking.) Fun fact: HIPAA has an exception for anything regarding potential criminal conduct! So, if a psychologist or therapist is told about a murder, they can turn that in to the police. Which is what we did with the tapes, since we knew that this individual was suspected in multiple unsolved homicides. (Now that the documentary has been out for six+ months, I can talk about it!)
And, after everything, we’re not worried, because the guy trying to blackmail the publisher is already in prison for life.
In Other News
I have had some job changes! I now work as a receptionist for a law firm, and my amazing bosses and supervisors are super chill, so I spend a lot of time reading through my to-be-read pile! I’ve gotten through sooo many books! And I was able to write almost my entire NaNo novel at work! My supervisor and coworkers watched me writing a novel on my work computer in between tasks, and asked me how it was going. It was really nice, not feeling like I have to “look busy” like I did when I worked for the bedding manufacturer. I’m still working on not feeling like I’m doing something wrong when I’m reading or writing at my desk. As long as I answer the phones and do paperwork when it comes in, I have a lot of leeway. This is possibly the best job I’ve ever had. (In large part because it is not customer service.)
I’ve also been filling a lot of my free time the last couple of months with Baldur’s Gate 3. And there was a lot of Stardew Valley before that. Both games are crack. But BG3 has quickly eaten up entire weekends, and I’m only in my second playthrough. I’ve always been a dungeon crawler, ever since I was a kid and my dad let me play Neverwinter Nights. I wanted to unlock every secret, do every sidequest, pick up every last bit of loot. And holy crap does BG3 deliver!
My first playthrough was as a ranger, in part because that was one of the first two classes I ever played in D&D. And, of course, I had to romance the flirtatious vampire, because he’s sexy, and I have always had a thing for vampires. (Not the Twilight ones, the classic ones.) And along the way, I just fell in love with the adorkable wizard, so I knew I was going to romance him for my second playthrough, long before I had finished the first. (It doesn’t help that Gale looks a fair bit like my husband, who is also an awkward dork. I can’t count how many times I’ve told my husband he’s either going to cosplay Gale or Halsin with me someday.) I’m now in act 3 of my second playthrough, romancing the rizzard. And I’m playing a Wild Mage Sorcerer, entirely for the silly unique dialogue options. I LOVE telling NPCs that I set everything on fire. Seriously, it’s my new favorite intimidation tactic. I have talked my way out of so much trouble by threatening to blow stuff up! It’s amazing.
Back to Business
And, back on writing. I’ve gotten a publisher lined up for Just Your Average Fairy Tale! I’ve just got a few more tweaks, and the text is ready! And I’ve already found someone I’d like to do the cover art! Which, more on how I found her later.
I’m going to be at LTUE next weekend, as a panelist for gaming! I’m on the Teach New Games panel on Thurs, and this year’s board game showdown on Fri. I’m also going to be on a costuming panel! Cosplay Tips and Tricks on Friday! I will be there to represent my fellow closet cosplayers, because someone needs to be the non-professional there.
Speaking of LTUE, Carlisle Legacy Books will be sharing a table with Timber Ghost Press this year! We love TGP, and I’m always excited to be able to help man the booth. (I will be selling Bundy bracelets and Made With Love earrings at the table, as well. I don’t expect there to be room for the buried treasure necklaces, with how many books both publishers have added in the last year, but they are still available upon request. (I will figure out online sales eventually, I promise!) Oh, on the earrings; the rainbow Made With Love earrings were a hit last year, and I had several people ask me if I had a trans flag version. I am happy to say that I do, indeed, have trans Made With Love earrings! I’m slowly working on the other Pride flags, but they won’t be ready by Thursday. I’ve still got to figure out the right beads to make them work and still look nice.
NADS
I’m sure I’ve mentioned my love of Paul Shapera’s works on here at some point. If not, you’re learning about it now. Ever since I stumbled upon Dolls of New Albion, I’ve been obsessed with the whole New Albion universe. Well, this summer, I was able to fly out to Minneapolis for the live Posthuman Cabaret! It was an exciting and fulfilling week, and I made sooo many friends! I’ve been part of the New Albion Discordian Society (NADS) for a few years now, and there are not words for how excited I was to meet some of these nerds in person! I adore my nerds. And I was able to put faces to names, and form incredible bonds! And I learned a lot, too. Being raised in a Christian family, I’ve never really thought much about other lifestyles, because this is what works for me. I’m very happy being a straight woman. I’ve always been comfortable with the gender I was born to. But during that week in Minneapolis, I could count on one hand the number of us that weren’t part of the LGBT+ spectrum. I joked about me and my husband being the only straight people in the group, and nobody cared that we didn’t drink or vape or partake in the questionably-legal marijuana gummies. If I didn’t shove my beliefs in their face, they didn’t care. I even overheard one friend telling some of the others “not all Mormons are bad; see, Nick and Jess are cool!” And it warmed my heart that I was considered part of the group. (It’s sad that I’m an exception, in regards to how I treat others, but I can’t force anyone to be nicer to people.) I wish more people were like my NADS friends. The way two hundred internet weirdos came together from the far reaches of the world and just coexisted for seven days… I have never been so excited about every single moment, so enthusiastic, even on vacations. Every day was filled with new adventures, not one minute was wasted. It was like a dream, and none of us wanted it to end. We came together for a two night musical, the end to a saga we had been following and enjoying together online for months. And to be together, to exist in the same physical space, words cannot describe the magic that happened there.
And, since the theater was only a half hour drive (if that) from Snake Discovery, we couldn’t NOT go and visit the facility! Our hotel was actually right down the road! My husband and I stumbled upon the Snake Discovery youtube channel well before they build their zoo. We’ve been watching Ed and Emily breed snakes and teach about reptiles for a long time. As soon as I knew that the Posthuman Cabaret was going to be in Minneapolis, I knew that we were going to visit Snake Discovery. And it was so cool! We got to meet Emily! We got to see newly-hatched baby hognoses! We met animals we’ve watched on youtube! We saw Rex! This was special for me, because this channel is what got me over my fear of snakes. I still get freaked out when I see a spider, no matter how cool I find them, but snakes don’t trigger that fight-or-flight response like they used to. I now see them as the cute derps that they are.
While in the Great Lakes area, we went with a group to the Mall of America, which is really the only big attraction in the region. We went through the mirror maze, all while Pixelwayve played The Hall of Mirrors from her phone. I got some great footage of us getting lost. (Which, if you are familiar with New Albion lore, is the whole point. If you are not, I highly recommend going on youtube or bandcamp or spotify and listening to the Ballad of Lost Hollow.) We found a kilt store, which several of us were very excited about.
Back at the venue hotel, we all gathered to sing karaoke, and have a tea party, and some even played board games. We all dressed up in cosplay and screamed our voices raw in the theater. (Not kidding, we cheered so hard that we were screaming, and a bunch of people lost their voices. At one point, we all just collectively stomped our feet because we couldn’t cheer any louder. And Paul and the tech friends had to spend ages adjusting the audio so that you could hear the cast over the audience, even with the mics.) We all got pictures with our beloved singers, and I was so excited to meet everyone and give them hugs. (I was really surprised when Paul Shapera himself recognized me, since I’d only ever interacted with him directly once or twice.)
And it was in this magical place that I met some incredible singers, artists, and actors. I made instant friends with my line buddy, Jade, who not only won the karaoke contest but is also a fantastic artist. I’m planning to commission her to do my cover art, because her work is gorgeous!
Through this online community, I’ve met people from all parts of the US, several regions of Canada, France, the Netherlands, Finland, England, Australia, Germany, and several South American countries. And everyone is so positive and supportive! I’m so lucky to be able to be a part of this community. <3
Health
The other big hurdle to getting things moving has been my health. (May be a little gross for some people, so feel free to skip this section if you’re squeamish about bodily functions. I know I used to be. So this is gonna be TMI for some people.)
I started having really bad stomach pains, gas, bloating, and acid reflux last spring. I didn’t know what was happening, but I was the least stressed I had been in a very long time. The last time I’d had such bad reflux, I’d been told that it was merely stress-induced, and that I’d be fine when life calmed down.
I hope I never see that doctor again, because I do my research before scheduling an appointment. And I had discovered Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disease. I had ever single symptom. So I asked him about it when I went in. He numbed my nasal passage and stuck a scope up my nose and down my throat to take a look. He told me that it was definitely NOT GERD.
Guess what I was diagnosed with this spring.
I went straight to a gastroenterologist about my symptoms, because this was NOT a passing bug. I had pain and discomfort non-stop for weeks and months. When I got home from my cousin’s wedding, I had to spend the night curled up in a ball, crying out in pain. I could not move. I could not eat. I could not sleep. Nothing could ease the pain; I tried my usual painkillers, heat, cold, peppermint oil, tiger balm, pressure- nothing worked. I was exhausted and passing out, but I couldn’t even lay down without making the pain worse. That was when I went to the specialist.
Now, I’ve had a nightmare of a time getting treatment for my medical issues. My depression, which I’d known I had since I was eight or nine, wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my twenties, because literally everyone in my life thought that I was just emotional and dramatic. (I am very emotional, but that’s beside the point.) No one thought I had depression because I was never suicidal. Anxiety Disorder? I worried too much. Something in my shoulder tore? Well, it doesn’t show up on the MRI, so it must not actually be a tear, even though you’ve never fully recovered from it, and we have no idea what’s wrong, but you can’t lift more than 20lbs for the rest of your life. Your other shoulder froze for a week and a half? Well, your first one didn’t show anything, so this one probably won’t, either. (The only time I’ve ever yelled at a doctor was after that comment. Different symptoms and different causes, and he treated them as exactly the same.) Turns out, I was probably injured when the nurse gave me the shots that caused the freezing, and now I have tendonitis. (SIRVA. It’s not what’s in the shot that causes problems, it’s the needle itself damaging tissue.)
So, after all of that nonsense, you can understand my amazement when the gastro took me seriously from the start. At the first visit, she ordered tests. She said “well, your symptoms indicate GERD and probably IBS. We’re gonna test to make sure.” I did bloodwork, I did an upper endoscopy, I had a biopsy of my stomach lining. I’ve had my gallbladder checked out, just in case that was causing it. I did a gastric emptying study, to make sure I was digesting and passing food correctly.
The biggest results came from the endoscopy and biopsy. See, the reason they did the biopsy was because my stomach lining didn’t look quite right during the endoscopy. The doctor found plenty of evidence of acid damage in my esophagus and stomach. The mucus in my esophagus was normal. The mucus in my stomach lining was not. That procedure confirmed that I have GERD, and I was immediately put on medication for it. The biopsy told me that I’ve had it for years, untreated. The damage to my stomach lining was so severe that it had messed up my cells. (That’s how I understand it, though it was phrased more medically.) Damage on the cellular level. No wonder I was in so much pain. I’m honestly surprised it’s not cancerous, with the kind of damage that’s been done to my system.
So, in addition to my numerous antidepressants, I’m now on several stomach medications. And I finally know why peppers have always made me sick.
And, in addition the chronic acid reflux, I have IBS. Which explains… a lot. I could almost write a novel about the signs of this throughout my life. And until I saw a specialist, I had no idea that my bowels weren’t functioning normally, because they’ve always functioned this way. I always thought it was dehydration that caused my body’s weird quirks. Nope; a depressing number of them can be managed (or fixed) with medication. So I’m now on six or seven prescriptions, and I’m only 34.
And then there’s the health problems with the rest of my family. We just found out that my mom is diabetic. My husband has had several issues pop up this year which I’m not going to get into here. (The latest development, he’d rather tell people himself. And I’m going to respect his wishes.)
And that’s not even getting into my dental adventures. Long story short, I’ve switched dentists because I no longer trust the one I’ve been seeing to give me proper care. After three crowns (maybe four) that were necessary because old fillings fell out, I was asked when to schedule my next crown. Which I had not been told I needed. Turns out, it was the tooth that I had been asking about for TWO YEARS, because of this teeny tiny little cavity I’d found. (And I’d pointed it out immediately, too.) This dentist kept saying “eh, we’ll keep an eye on it” until it was too late. I had just started a new job, and crowns would not be covered by my insurance for a year. “Can’t you fill it?” No, he couldn’t fill it, because wHaT if tHe fiLLing bROke?
I saw my husband’s dentist for a second opinion. His dentist? “You don’t have to crown it right away. We can do a filling, and it’ll hold for at least two years.” I scheduled the filling. THE NEEDLE DIDN’T EVEN HURT! I’d been getting increasingly anxious about the numbing shots because of how much they HURT at my old dentist. (He took at least twice as long, and wiggled the needle around to stab multiple places.) New dentist? The shot took A FOURTH OF THE TIME.
I scheduled my next cleaning/check-up with the new dentist. I’m never going back. (Bonus: new dentist doesn’t try to make me use a bite block that’s bigger than my mouth!)
Wrap
With the struggle getting things migrated to the new host site, and all of the editing and health crap and everything, a lot has happened. So this update is much longer than I had planned. But it was needed, now that I’ve got things up and running again. I’m still here, and I’m taking things slow to make sure that I can do them right. I’ve read a lot of self-published and indie press novels in the last six months, and I’ve seen how easy it is to miss a spelling or grammar error, or a change to a character’s name. I don’t want to put a story into the world that isn’t at least polished. When my books come out, I don’t want them to look like NaNo novels. I know that not everyone will like my stories, but I don’t want anyone to be put off by a half-edited sentence. (I recently borrowed a book from a coworker that could definitely have used a few more edits. The first chapter was 30 pages long, and only about five of those pages were coherent story. I couldn’t even figure out how the rest connected, or what was going on. It’s the third time In my life that I’ve given up on finishing a book.)
So, my novel debut is still a ways off. But I’m nearing the end. And I’m not going to rush, because I want to do this right.
Thanks for sticking around (or for coming back), and I promise to have an update in much less time than this one took.
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